Parenting

The objective of the parenting class is to help one-parent and two-parent family’s open avenues and to help the family’s understand the difficulties in raising children while maintaining a positive household.  Marriage and parenting are both very complicated that doesn’t come with a manual and when divorce or the possibility of divorce is introduced life just got harder.  It is very important for a family to remain stable regardless of what the family is experiencing.  It is this stability that will provide the children with a sense of security.

It is hard for each person in the family to look into the mirror and realize that we all have fallen short of the glory of God.  When dealing with family members and even friends it is important not to allow our self-centeredness to get in the way.

A critical reminder is this: “In all disputes or arguments both people have contributed to the argument/dispute.”   When a disagreement is taking place ask one question: “What did I do to add to the disagreement?”

Stay away from statements like:
“Can’t you do anything right?”
“You never ….”
“I told you so …”
“You always …”
“I don’t want to discuss it …”
“When will you ever learn …”
“How many times do I have to tell you …”

Last but not least: “If you don’t want your children to lie to you then don’t ask them to lie for you.”

 

 

Abuse – Spousal, Physical, Emotional

In today’s faced pace selfish driven world filled with unemployment, financial stresses, increasing homeless population, the increased amount of families facing lack of school supplies, food, clothing some men and women turn to physical and verbal abuse.  In many cases the individual turns to drugs and/or alcohol in order to escape.

Abuse is never accepted but we as a society must find it in our hearts to help these families, each individual and the children move from feeling that there is no hope and realize that as a community we can pull together and overcome these challenges.

Forgiveness is a vital part of what God create by the sacrifice of His only Son.  We as a society have moved away from second chances to condemnation.  There are going to be times that a person hurts our feeling.  The day that we as a human race stop forgiving, stop believing that people can’t change we as a society have lost all hope in humanity.

Colossians 3:19 “And you husband must love your wives and never treat them harshly.”

Ephesians 4:26 “And don’t sin by letting anger control over your.  Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

Proverbs 14:29 “Those who control their anger have great understanding: those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.”

Proverbs 17:9 “Whoever forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.”

 

Crisis Intervention – Suicide/Tramatic Events

There are times that each one of us faces challenges that seem to overwhelm us.  It is so hard to understand what a person is going through unless we get involved with their life, personally, professionally, spiritually, and emotionally.  In most cases we are so caught up in our own lives and the world of technology that we allow life to really pass us by.

The person that is facing the act of suicide can never image the pain, the questions, and the depth of the hurt that will be created.  I know that the person considering suicide is only thinking of the unimaginable pain that they are experiencing by personal experience.  My father an alcoholic and addicted to pain medicine took his own life when I was twelve years old.  The main thing is that he made me watch him because he was afraid of dying by himself.  I understand the pain that one feels.  It is horrible and all they want is for it to go away and to have some relief.

Suicide is a very tragic way to lose a loved one, a friend or even a foe.   For instance when someone takes their life it is critical to understand that they are not in any way thinking clearly. The person doesn’t see the whole picture in life and the direct impact that it is going to be felt and to the depths of pain that will be created.

Communication

Communication is a vital aspect of any relationship.  Communication involves tow parts: Listening and Talking.

Inside a conversation between two people there must be one person talking while the other listens.  Listening involves opening the mind and closing the mouth.  This also means that while a person is listening they must not be trying to develop a rebuttal.

Listen to the entire statement.

The listen must not respond until they have repeated what they understood was being said.

This prevents from any confusion.

If the information that is repeated is incorrect there must be additional clarification to better explain.

Then after there is a complete understanding the other person may take their turn talking.

There is no talking over each other because this adds the the anxiety, frustration and any anger that is present.

Sit down and talk to each other not at each other.

Choice

–All Communication involves choices, some of which people actively consider, and others that follow cultural norms and seem almost                 automatic.

Culture

Culture and Communication are intertwined. Ethnicity, Gender, Age, Social Class, Sexual Orientation, and other cultural features always affect communication and are affected by it.

Identities

–Some of the most important meanings people collaboratively create are identities.

All communicating involves negotiating identities, or selves

Conversation

–The most influential communication events are conversation

Anger Management

Anger impacts each person in different ways.

Does Anger Control You or Do You Control Anger

        1.  When someone (boss, spouse, friend, stranger) makes a statement to you or towards you how do you respond.

  1. How do you respond back to a negative statement.
  1. Does the tone of their voice impact you as the recipient.
  1. In what way does it impact you.
  1. Anger Is A Common Emotion
  1. Most people encounter angry feelings of varying intensity everyday, many times a day.
  1. To respond to another person’s anger effectively, we need to take various factors into account.

 

Some thoughts that the family may be facing.  If your family is facing these challenges it may be time to seek out help.

 

  • Some people are not able to talk about anything without becoming angry.
  • They have a very low tolerance frustration and experience more emotional arousal than most people when they are frustrated.
  • They may not have learned how to express themselves.
  • They may be shy or afraid that others won’t like them or accept them, or will criticize them and think they are stupid.
  • Some family members learn not to talk about sensitive issues because such discussions lead to quarreling or a fight.
  • When you are punished or ridiculed when they tell the truth, they learn to make up stories or to tell others what they think they want to hear.
  • You perceive more life situations as annoying and anger producing.
  • They get angry more often than most people.
  • They are more likely to express verbal and physical aggression when provoked.
  • They have higher general anxiety, and make less effort at constructive coping.
  • Angry people describe their family environments as they were growing up as; significantly less cohesive, less emotional expressive, less tolerant of self-expression, and having more conflict and being more disorganized than those of less angry people.
  • In families where the expression of anger is a way of life, the children have a greater possibility of carrying that lifestyle into their dating, marriage and family relationships.

 

Premarital and Marital Counseling

Premarital Guidance/Counseling  involves 8 individual sessions.
This program is driven and guided by God’s Word.
The first session consists of an assessment that will highlight the couples strengths and weakness.

This is a great opportunity to build on the strengths while learning how to improve the weakness.  As the couple discovers the strengths and weakness a detailed discussion will help each person discover how to work together as one to resolve the challenges that a marriage will bring to the front of a relationship.

Marital counseling is a great opportunity for a couple to build through God’s Word a stronger relationship between the spouses and most important the relationship between the couple and God.  Each couple faces different challenges and as a counselor I will help each person individually and as a couple discover and conquer those challenges.

Premarital and Martial Assessment:
Communication, Conflict Resolution, Partner Style and Habits, Financial Management, Leisure Activities, Sexual Expectations, Family and Friends, Relationship Roles, and Spiritual Beliefs.